Rob still doesn't leave us captions - Ed

The Story

Mysterious happenings are occurring in Springfield; a horde of robot wasps descend upon the city at the beginning of the game. After a tractor beam kidnaps Bart outside a stadium, Lisa attempts to find her brother by exploring the town for clues. She learns that the black sedans that have been appearing around town are connected to Bart’s disappearance. Lisa eventually finds Bart on a ship in Springfield harbor. He appears to have memory loss and is mumbling unintelligibly while occasionally mentioning the sedans and Buzz Cola, the “new and improved” cola drink recently launched by television personality Krusty the Clown. Marge sets out to learn what has affected Bart. As she investigates a crop circle that recently appeared in Cletus Spuckler’s crop field, Abraham Simpson tells Marge that the crop circle is an exact replica of the Buzz Cola logo. Marge gives a can of the cola to Bart, which snaps him out of his stupor. Bart reveals that the new Buzz Cola is a mind-control cola produced by aliens. Marge decides to purge Springfield of the cola, but in spite of her valiant efforts, the drink still maintains its popularity^.

Inspired by Marge’s efforts and remorseful for selling the cola in the first place, Apu tries to discover the source of the cola. Snake Jailbird tells him that the cola trucks are registered to the Springfield Museum of Natural History. Apu and Bart decide to go inside the museum, where they find a meteor as the source of the cola. They eavesdrop on a conversation between aliens Kang and Kodos, who are masterminding a scheme. Apu and Bart learn that the wasp cameras are filming the antics of Springfield for an intergalactic reality show, Foolish Earthlings. The aliens are using the cola to make people insane, by which time Kang and Kodos will distribute laser guns among the populace to drive the town to a violent massacre sure to draw many viewers^.

Apu is frightened of the aliens and cowardly refuses to help any further, so Bart takes it upon himself to foil Kang and Kodos’ plan. He asks Krusty for help, but Krusty informs Bart that he has already helped the Duff Brewery set up free laser gun stands around Springfield. Bart then goes to his father, Homer, for help, and the duo quickly pursue Kang and Kodos to the brewery. However, the aliens escape, and before departing, they reveal that they have already released Buzz Cola throughout Springfield’s water supply. As the cola seeps into the ground, it releases the un-dead from the Springfield Cemetery, who invade Springfield. When Homer collects supplies to protect his family and home from the marauding zombies, he decides to pursue a black sports car—which he believes belong to the aliens—to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. The car, however, belongs to Professor Frink, who has discovered the aliens’ weakness: nuclear waste. He plans to use the space ship’s tractor beam to suck up cars that are loaded with drums of nuclear waste. After successfully loading Frink’s car, along with three more, into the aliens’ tractor beam, the ship explodes. The following day, Springfield is returned back to normal.

Gameplay

The game characters you can play as, barring characters inside cars, are:

• The whole Simpson family (duh)

• Apu

Why Apu, I don’t know, any Springfieldian could have been playable, but this is how it is! All the characters have the same running speed and jumping height. They each have unique vehicles, each with their own stats. Other cars are obtainable throughout the game, either out of choice, or in order to proceed to the next part of a mission.

There are 7 levels, and you play as a different character in a selection of each. Apu is only playable once, Bart twice, Lisa once, Marge once and Home twice. Is that because Bart and Homer are more popular in the franchise? Meh.

In a level, you can either walk or drive places. Walking is dreadfully slow compared to driving, so cars are your primary transport. If you run over peds or smash obstacles, a bar circling the mini-map will increase around the map radius until it reaches the other side, where you get a Hit and Run, where police cars come at you from all directions (really pisses you off if you’re trying to do a mission quickly).

Throughout each level are collectible cards and coins. Coins bail you out of Hit and Runs and are currency to buy cars and extra character costumes.

If you get zapped by a flying wasp, you lose a few coins. No biggy, the wasps only take one hit to bust, and they spill a load of coins anyway.

There are times where you can run around the level in your own time, though an objective will still be there for you to complete, by default.

Bonus Content

You can unlock character costumes from shops in each level. The costumes include the likes of Bartman for Bart, Officer Marge for Ma-.. Yeah.
Also Homer the Chosen One, Lisa in ‘Cool’ gear and Apu dressed ‘like an American’.
All the costumes cost a certain amount of coins.

Collect all the collector cards in the game, and you unlock an Itchy and Scratchy movie!
YAY! \o/

Verdict

8/10

The classic Simpson-style gags are there, the loveable characters are there, the lengthy gameplay is there.

But it took me several attempts to complete some missions… Not because I was rubbish (there is NO difficulty level) but because of the annoying aspects of the game. If you so much as tap another vehicle, it just stops and you have to waste precious time to reverse back and circle round it. ANNOYING. -1.

Another minus is the Hit and Run. It’s a good idea, and if it wasn’t for this feature, the game title would be fucked. But when it happens, and you smash into a police car… instead of having to circle round it, you are rendered immobile, charged 50 coins and then the screen fades out, WITH THE TIMER STILL GOING. It’s a challenge, which is good in all games, but an unneccesary one. -1.

This has been Rob, and this was my review of The Simpsons Hit and Run for PC.

Thanks!

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